There are many jobs that I’ve always thought would be fun to perform for a day. Like subway driver, or trapeze artist, or neurosurgeon. Have you ever thought about what it would be like to dress as one of the beloved characters at a theme park? You stroll around all day and little children, thrilled to see you, run over to hug you. You can be as goofy or as Mickey as you like, and there’s always a parade to march in.

Well I’m here to tell you that it’s not all as entertaining as it looks. Here’s the inside scoop (and if you can’t trust mentalfloss.com then I don’t know what this world is coming to). Aside from the obvious – the pay isn’t great, you spend the entire day perspiring inside those furry costumes with no way to even wipe your brow – there are actually serious health risks.

“The travails of one former fur character involved getting punched, being put in a choke hold, having her shoulder partly dislocated, and earning three bruised finger bones. This performer eventually went to physical therapy for her shoulder and needed knee surgery thanks to the weight of her costume. Fur character costumes can weigh as much as 47 pounds, and in 2005—the last year for which comprehensive data is available—they were blamed for 282 injuries.” In addition, the audition process is fierce and prolonged and you need to be the right height and, for face characters (Alice, Belle, Tarzan etc.), look the part.

Wow. OK, another dream deferred.

In the meantime, I guess I’ll stick to focusing on character cakes. This one was a fluffy white vanilla cake that I filled with cookies and cream buttercream. The cookies were homemade chocolate chip biscotti. They gave the filling a satisfying depth and crunch. Yum!