Is this you right about now?

It’s eight days until the Seder. Everyone’s talking about cleaning their house for Pesach. On line at the supermarket you can’t avoid hearing all about the menu of the woman in front of you. The cashier chimes in helpfully with some oven cleaning tips. Your cart is so full that items keep falling out and you’re wearing the strap of the toilet paper package around your neck because there’s just no room for it anywhere else.

Yes, this is a true story that happened to me earlier this week. Thinking that I was going to avoid the rush and the supermarket insanity I took my maiden trip first thing Sunday morning. In vain. The wily Israeli hordes were way ahead of me. I am not actually making a Seder or even hosting anyone in my home. And yet I still easily managed to spend a small fortune. Ten minutes after I left I realized that I had forgotten several key items.

I’m a pretty calm person. My doctor told me a few weeks ago that my blood pressure is actually too low. Here are the things that stress me out: driving to new places and getting lost, and preparing my kitchen for Pesach.

Now the woman on the cake seems pretty much in control, right? Aside from the dishes in the sink, the kitchen’s in good shape, the kids look more or less happy, there’s food cooking away on the stove, she’s even found time to lift weights and shop on line.

Now take a look at the expression on her face.

That’s sheer panic you’re looking at.

I would like to tell the cooks of the Jewish world that it’ll be OK, take a deep breath and make one less side dish. But I know nobody’s listening.