The Big Apple

It wouldn’t surprise me if you were to assume that this cake was made in honour of Apple’s becoming the world’s first trillion-dollar public company last week. I mean, what an achievement! Apple’s stock market value is now more than a third the size of the UK economy and larger than the economies of Turkey and Switzerland. It’s difficult to fathom, really.

However, ahem, the executives at Apple sadly did not hire me to make them a celebratory cake. That’s probably because their headquarters are in Cupertino, California which is 7,438 miles (11,970 km) from Jerusalem – simply an unreasonable distance for a cake to travel.

No, instead this cake was made in anticipation of Rosh Hashanah. Rosh Hashanah! I hear you cry. What, already? Well people, Rosh Hodesh Elul is this Shabbat, making Rosh Hashanah a mere month away. Now don’t panic, there’s still time to order a Temptations cake for every single person you love – or even just like quite a bit – who lives in Jerusalem. If you want to panic about doing teshuva (repentance) however, don’t let me get in the way of that. I can’t have that on my conscience on top of my own sins.

But back to cake. This red delicious apple looks so authentic that only its size will tip off your guests that it’s not the real thing. It comes in several varieties – medium and large, red, green or yellow – and will serve a large crowd. It will never turn brown inside, like those apples you get from a tree, and every last bit of it is edible and delicious.

If you’d like to supplement this cake with individual apple cupcakes, we’ve got just the thing! True, they are slightly sparklier than the genuine article but they’re a big hit with the younger crowd.

If apples are not for you, then all our previous Rosh Hashanah cakes are available again this year.

So forget all your past New Year’s resolutions. Resolve right here and now to present your family and guests with a completely unforgettable finale to their meals.