Doctor Who?

Full disclosure: I have never watched an episode of Doctor Who. That in itself is quite an achievement, considering that the show has been on the air since 1963 (granted, not uninterruptedly, but there have been 813 episodes), well before I was born.

Since time was short, and I had little interest in researching this vast topic and/or watching any clips from the show, I thought I’d just whittle down the information I had to a few salient facts.

The characters travel around in a time machine that looks like a blue British police call box from the 1960s. Apparently it’s more capacious inside than it would appear from the outside. I suppose I could have made an expanding cake – yeast? – but that seemed far too complicated.

The characters are menaced by an extraterrestrial race of cyborgs, the daleks, who – you know what? Never mind. If you’re a fan of the show you already know all about them and if you’re not a sci-fi junkie, then let’s face it, you really don’t care. Suffice it to say, they apparently come in a variety of colours and since the customer is particularly fond of orange, so be it.

The guy staring open-mouthed at the orange menace is not Doctor Who. Apparently the character has been played by 12 different actors over the years so I really couldn’t go wrong in my depiction of him – my guy must resemble at least one of them (minus the kippa, of course) – but this figure is actually meant to represent the recipient of the cake who is clearly appalled at his own taste in television entertainment.